RE: A reasonably clean joke thread - 37

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

Corona experts:

Incidence below 100: Experts advise against lock-down easing.

Incidence below 50: It's too early to ease the lock-down measures.

Incidence below 25: The trend is not stable.

Incidence below 5: The virus is still with us.

Incidence at 0: We can't jeopardize our achievements.

Here is what keeps my Royal Enfield Bullet moving.

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For those afraid of needles but still want the Covid vaccination
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Zitat von L2RKE im Beitrag #544

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For those afraid of needles but still want the Covid vaccination

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I am finding jokes hard to come by lately. So in desperation I decided to post this photo that i took at a Electric Vehicle show at Santa Clara, CA in 2012. It should be good for a chuckle.

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This morning a friend dumped a bunch of pretty decent cartoons on me. So now I am dumping them on to you.

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And here are more cartoons to celebrate this week's Hump Day.

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It must be April Fools Day:

Immediate Release
April 1, 2021
SAFETY RECALL
Immediate Stop Ride due to Valve Stem Cap: All BMW Models since 1923.
An urgent safety recall affecting ALL past and present BMW motorcycle models currently in use was announced April 1, 2021. This recall also mandates an official Stop Sale affecting all current unsold BMW motorcycle inventory, ALL models.
The recall is related to VALVE STEM CAPS on both front and rear wheels, with either tubeless or tube-type tires mounted. It has recently been discovered that a 0.002 mm thread pitch discrepancy between valve stems and valve stem caps installed on all BMW motorcycles manufactured since 1923 can lead to a potentially hazardous valve stem cap overheating condition. Overheated valve stem caps, caused by friction resulting from high frequency vibrations, can self-loosen and eventually fly off. This condition is considered a ROAD HAZARD because an overheated valve stem cap when airborne at highway speed can become a dangerous projectile! Additionally, the resulting valve stem core exposure due to the absence of a valve stem cap is a potential HEALTH RISK. Trapped road dirt and bacteria inside the valve stem core can become activated by slow leakage of compressed HOT AIR from within the tire, then released into the atmosphere where it can be inadvertently inhaled, leading to respiratory distress.
This official announcement, states that this critical thread pitch discrepancy (blamed on a subcontracted manufacturer’s production error) has now been ascertained to be the cause of the vast majority of missing valve stem caps reported in registered complaints to BMW Motorrad through its authorized dealers for the last ninety-plus years.
REQUIRED ACTION!

Step ONE: Owners must immediately inspect both front and rear wheels to confirm Valve Stem Caps are still in place. DO NOT RIDE until this inspection is done!
Step TWO: Motorcycles affected (those with missing Valve Stem Caps) should be brought (not ridden!) to authorized BMW Motorrad dealers immediately for further inspection and a professional diagnosis by certified BMW technicians. If necessary to install replacement parts under warranty, the parts for this campaign are expected to be available January 2031, along with a service bulletin and repair instructions. Important: DO NOT RIDE until authorized replacement valve stem caps are installed!


For additional details and to reserve your spot in line for replacement parts visit www.bobsbmw.com/20210331-april-fools/
NHTSA Statement
Please be reminded that it is a violation of federal law (The Safety Act) for you to sell, lease or deliver any new motor vehicle covered by this notification until the recall repair has been performed. This means that dealers may not legally deliver new motor vehicles to consumers until they are fixed or use/sell replacement equipment/parts subject to this recall. Note also that substantial civil penalties apply to violations of the Safety Act. Also, you should not sell, lease or deliver any used vehicles in your inventory subject to a safety recall until the repair is completed.

Why do mice have such small balls?

Because very few of them know how to dance.

Conspiracy cartoons.

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