RE: A reasonably clean joke thread - 41

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Why were the Romans so bad at algebra?

They always ended up with X equals 10.

I just received an email dump with a batch of old folks cartoons. Here are some of the better ones. And one more for us motorcycle garage mechanics.

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"Reasonably clean" limits my joke library quite a bit. Hmm, let's see. Something more, umm, symphonic....

Q: What's round, brown, and sits on a piano bench?
A: Beethoven's last movement.

Zitat von Pyrrho im Beitrag #605

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"Reasonably clean" limits my joke library quite a bit. Hmm, let's see. Something more, umm, symphonic....

Q: What's round, brown, and sits on a piano bench?
A: Beethoven's last movement.

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An engineer, mathematician and accountant are all applying for the same job. The engineer goes in first and the interviewer asks the engineer:
"What's two plus two"
The Engineer responds:
"4, obviously but let's make it 5 to be on the safe side"
...
Next, the mathematician walks in and the interviewer asks him:
"What's two plus two?"
The mathematician takes out a notebook and works for 30 minutes, gives the interviewer the notebook and says:
"Here is a proof that demonstrates that 2+2 does, in fact, equal 4" ...
Next the accountant walks in, and the interviewer asks:
"What's two plus two"
The accountant looks around, shuts the door, closes the blinds and asks the interviewer:
"What do you want it to be?"

Here is a three'fer.

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

Thought I'd pop back to share these little topical gemsFB_IMG_1633064587771.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)FB_IMG_1633064613550.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)FB_IMG_1633064637234.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)FB_IMG_1633064649396.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

I'm pleased to say I managed to get £70 worth of fuel in my car on the way back from the airport
Crisis? What crisis?

Northampton Town has invited 50 Afghan refugees to watch their game against Sutton United this weekend.

If that don't get the fuckers to go back nothing will

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Neologisms. Are these going to be new additions to the English language? I hope not.

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Here are three more cute cartoons.

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A preacher has a teenage son and decides it’s about time for him to choose a profession.

Like most teens his age; the son isn’t too concerned about the subject.

So the preacher decides to try an experiment.

One day when the boy is at school he puts: a Bible, a silver dollar, a bottle of whiskey, and a Playboy magazine on the bed stand in the boys room.

‘I’ll just hide behind the door,” the old preacher said to himself. “When he comes home from school today, I’ll see which object he picks up..”
“If it’s the Bible, he’s going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!
“If he picks up the dollar, he’s going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too.

“But if he picks up the bottle, he’s going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.
“And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he’s going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.”
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son’s foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine’s centerfold.

“Lord have mercy,” the old preacher disgustedly whispered. “He’s gonna run for Congress.”