RE: A reasonably clean joke thread - 30

Impotence
Nature's way of saying no hard feelings.

Zitat von Bravo im Beitrag #434

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As fresh spunk dribbled down her chin she looked up at him and asked.
"What the fuck have you put in this sandwich?"

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Friday has arrived and Batman has retired.

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Two things you should know about me.

1) My cock is the same length as two Argos pencils end to end.

2) I've been banned from every Argos store in the country.

That might be funnier if I knew the default length of an Argos pencil.

Ah - cock jokes!

From Jo Brand -
" my partner was very happy to know, as I was a nurse, to say his cock was probably in the top five, maybe top three largest cocks I had ever seen."
"Of course he wasn't so happy to find out my career of 30 years had only ever been in a premature baby units !!!!"

Here is another funny cartoon for the times.

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Here is the front of a funny T-shirt that my daughter made for me about 20 years ago.

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Pick your poison.

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Let's see if this one gets removed too.

What's got 200 legs and 3 teeth?

The queue outside Primark.

Here is a cartoon that we all will appreciate.

dead or alive.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

Zitat von Bravo im Beitrag #447

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Let's see if this one gets removed too.

What's got 200 legs and 3 teeth?

The queue outside Primark.

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The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said,"I would like to withdraw $500." The female teller told her, "For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM."
The old lady then asked, "Why?" The teller irritably told her, "These are rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you." She then returned the card to the old lady. The old lady remained silent... but then she returned the card to the teller and said, "Please help me withdraw all the money I have." The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and said to the old lady, "My apologies Granny, you have $3.5 million in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?"
The old lady then asked, "How much am I able to withdraw now?" The teller told her, "Any amount up to $300,000" The old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw $300,000 from her account. The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully. The old lady kept $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $299,500 back into her account. Don't be difficult with old people... we can outwit the young and dumb.