RE: A reasonably clean joke thread - 52

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It's the truth.

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Me: Alexa remind to go to the gym
Alexa: I have added gin to your shopping list
Me: Close enough

Here we go again.....

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Today you get the good, the bad and the strange.

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And here are some cartoons to lighten up your weekend.

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I was going to post the photos of this car that I saw today in the thread where I typically post pictures of vehicles that I see each Sunday at Alice's Restaurant. But then I thought that it really belongs in this joke thread.

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An old tired-looking dog wanders into a guy's yard. He examines the dog's collar and feels his well-fed belly and knows the dog has a home.
The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep. The man thinks its rather odd, but lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.

The next day the dog comes back and scratches at the door. The guy opens the door, the dog comes in, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep again. The man lets him sleep. After about an hour the dog wakes up, walks to the door and the guy lets him out. The dog wags his tale and leaves.

This goes on for days. The guy grows really curious, so he pins a note on the dog's collar: "Your dog has been taking a nap at my house every day."
The next day the dog arrives with another note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'

Oops, this cartoon was funny, but the forum didn't like the source.

Funny but true

Relaxing in the Arizona summer.

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Q: Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
A: She was no spring chicken.

Q: How did the chicken with no legs cross the road?
A: In a KFC bucket.

Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

Q: What do you call a scary chicken?
A: A poultrygeist.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!

Q: What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.

Q: What day do chickens hate the most?
A: Fry-day.

Q: Why are chickens good at drumming?
A: Because they have drumsticks.

Q: Why did the chicken sit on the middle of the road?
A: She wanted to lay it on the line.

Q: What do you get when you put a chicken in a concrete mixer?
A: A brick layer.

Q: Did you hear about the chicken police investigating a stolen egg from the coop?
A: They suspect fowl play.

Q: A friend asked me, "How do you raise chickens?"
A: I answered, "Just try and wing it."

Q: Why do chickens hate it in winter?
A: They feel cooped up.

Q: Why do chickens not like bossy roosters?
A: Because they ruffle everyone's feathers.

Q: Why don't chickens tell jokes to their eggs?
A: Because it might crack them up.

A quick one told by the great Billy Connolly

In the Olympic park he saw a guy carrying a very big stick.
He said "are you a pole vaulter?"
The guy replied "No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walther?"

The goat show.

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Here is a snake cartoon.

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