RE: A reasonably clean joke thread - 58

One day a man decided to retire...
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other
people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my fishing boat sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."
"Oh, this ole thing?" explains the woman. " I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree."
"But, where did you get the tools?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the
woman. " On the south side of the island, a very
unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in a volcanic vent I found just down island, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."
The guy is stunned.
"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small hand built wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an
expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, It's not much, but I call it home.
Please sit down." "Would you like a drink?"
"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."
"Oh, it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Jack Daniels neat?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."
No longer questioning anything, the man goes
upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but a bandana around her blonde locks and some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned. She smelled faintly of coconut oil. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, "We've both been out here for many
months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you had a really good ride?"
She stares into his eyes.
He can't believe what he's hearing.
"You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
"You've built a Motorcycle

OK, I should have seen that coming on a motorcycle forum, but I didn't. Thanks so much for a good laugh!

FB_IMG_1680547207937.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

Zitat von Bravo im Beitrag #858

---

---

A friend sent me this joke this morning:


HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING,“SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.” WELL, YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE:

MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.

”YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,” HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

“WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?” I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, “IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?”

“YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!” I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLE-FACED, FAT-ASSED,

GRAY-HAIRED, DECREPIT, SON-OF-A-BITCH, ASKED,

”WHAT SUBJECT DID YOU TEACH?”

Is this good advice?

barrel theory.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

For some children…absolutely.

Next.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

Quick thinking there....Brilliant

Nature is amazing!

Mama.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

2023:-

Screenshot 2023-04-25 at 09.55.54.png - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

Zitat von wessie im Beitrag #867

---

---

India gets ahead of China.

India goes ahead.jpeg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

Here are a bunch of cute cartoons that a friend just sent me.

1.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)2.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)3.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)4.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)5.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)6.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)7.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)8.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)9.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)10.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)11.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)12.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)13.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)