RE: A reasonably clean joke thread - 63

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Remember if you're going to post about Russell Brand you may be sued for libel if you call him a comedian.

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Some people say that filling animals with helium is wrong but I say..

Whatever floats your goat.

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Posted elsewhere….

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Works for bikes tooFB_IMG_1695105394549.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

I'll just leave it to your imagination FB_IMG_1695493391975.jpg - Bild entfernt (keine Rechte)

Here is a funny story from my past: Years ago at a city council meeting of the city where I used to live, a councilman had brought with him one of those old laugh boxes that were popular at the time. You would turn it over and it would start laughing nonstop for about 30 seconds. At the meeting there was a discussion regarding the plight of women in the world and especially in politics who were getting no respect. The guy really wasn't listening to the conversation and was fondling the laugh box, when he accidentally turned it over and it started to laugh loudly. He then tried to turn it off, but all that did was to make it laugh even more. Needless to say the temperature in the council chambers started to approach absolute zero and turned deathly quiet once the laugh box finally stopped laughing. That councilman was not elected to anything ever again.

And here is another one (both of these are true to the best of my recollection): I spent most of my past working at a local city engineering department. During the late 1970's we received a request from a city councilman who had just returned from Venice and wanted to replace the city's downtown street (which had about a 5% slope on the roadway and angled car parking on both sides of the street) with a river and have gondolas travel up and down it. We tried to explain that was impossible because the water would only flow downhill, there was no source of water around to keep the "canal" filled and no way for the gondolas to get back up the "canal". We were told that since we were engineers, just make it work. Fortunately, before we could come up with an idea to make it work (like a lock system), the idea faded away. So much for big ideas from politicians. Another one-term guy.

Did you know?

If you replace crisps with grapefruit as a snack you lose 90% of joy left in your life.

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